


I feel love in your touch

by SleepingwithWolves



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angry sansa, Angst, F/M, Political Jon, Season 8, Subtext Becomes Text, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, angst with feelings, broken tower, show verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 20:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18156461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingwithWolves/pseuds/SleepingwithWolves
Summary: " I listened enough. " She snarls, " You gave away our home Jon. You gave away everything! For what, Jon? For what? What exactly did she give to you for the North? Or has everything else stopped to matter because you fell in -" the word sticks in her throat like a noose, she presses her hands together and brings them to her face and she can't breathe, not with the drumming in her mind and not with the look in his eyes, "- because you fell in love." Sansa says finally, the strength leaving her voice.// Or Jon Snow comes back to Winterfell with a Queen and Sansa just wants to know why.





	I feel love in your touch

She stands near the only window in the room, her fingers tapping against the woodwork impatiently. Sansa's eyes often glance at the ground below as she waits half expecting to find Bran's broken body still lying there as it had all those years ago.  
It gets too much for her, just standing there so she paces and shudders against every cold wind that blows into the broken tower. Sansa has _waited_ for him for months yet the time spent then did not feel as unbearable as it feels now.

Does Jon not know how precious this time is? How long does he think the three of them can go missing without anyone noticing?

And as if her thoughts summoned him, she hears Jon's footsteps heavy against the half broken stairwell. When he appears from the door, wearing the bloody cloak she made him and those stupid, ridiculously unfitting clothes for who he's supposed to be or who he was, Sansa feels her breath hitching in her throat, and her mind just taking him in. So she takes her fill and looks at him after so many months, properly, completely without any speculators and unwanted queens.

Jon gives her a smile that makes her heartache. It is full of hope for what Sansa doesn't know. Doesn't want to know.

"How hard is it to come here? I've been waiting for so long."

Jon purses his lips and walks ahead to lean against an old table. Shadows from the candle beside him dance at his face. "Quite hard. I came as fast as I could."

There's a certain... mirth in his voice, in his eyes, playing on his lips that grates Sansa to no ends. _He looks as if nothing I say would affect him at all_ , she thinks.

Sansa squeezes her hands together.

"Was it after bedding her or did you leave that duty to your queen for later?"

The small smile playing on Jon's face drops. "Sansa" he just says. As if that's an answer to anything she has asked. As if that....She breathes and closes her eyes tightly. How long has it been since she heard her name from his lips?

Shaking her head, Sansa looks at him again. "What were you thinking? What were you planning? Why would you-"

He steps forward, cutting her off, "I'll let you know if you would just listen."

" I _listened_ enough. " She snarls, " You gave away our home Jon. You gave away everything! For what, Jon? For what? What exactly did she give to you for the North? Or has everything else stopped to matter because you fell in -" the word sticks in her throat like a noose, she presses her hands together and brings them to her face and she can't breathe, not with the drumming in her mind and not with the look in his eyes, "- because you fell in love." Sansa says finally, the strength leaving her voice.

Jon's hand press against his temple as she waits. And waits. How long did Sansa wait for him? "An army." He turns to look at her again and she wonders if Jon feels too warm all of a sudden. Just like her.

"An army" He repeats slowly, stepping towards her and coming closer.

"what?"

"She gave me her army for the North." He whispers, breath fanning her face. "Her dragons."

"Jon," she stares at his eyes looking for what she doesn't know, "You _slept_ with her."

He recoils from the pain in her voice as if slapped." I had to."

"Had to?" She repeats, eyebrows raising.

"I called her my queen and she wanted me. She made sure that I knew. How could I have refused?" He shakes his head. " I did what was necessary."

His words hang in the air, Sansa breathes them in. "She thinks you love her."

"I know."

"I think she loves you."

"I know."

"Do you have any idea what she will do -"

"I _know_!"

Sansa steps back. Her chest heaving as if she ran a mile.

"Jon-" he cuts her off as he strides to her in quick steps. Jon's hands grasp her arms and his face is alight with desperation, unlike anything she has seen.

"I know Sansa, I know! The consequences, all the what ifs. But we need her. The North needs her to stay alive. To survive! If we lose, if the Night King wins, then nothing, _nothing_ , matters."

"... And if we win?" Jon lets go of her arms and blinks. "And what if we win? What if Humanity survives, we survive? What happens then, Jon?"

Pressing a hand against his face, Jon squeezes his eyes closed as if he hasn't ever thought of an end like that." I don't-" he swallows, " I don't know. All I know is that she won't find out. Whatever she wants, I'll do and noth-"

"That's too risky and you know it."

There's a pause and he continues, voice hard. "Nothing will happen. Nothing will happen to the North. I'll make sure of that."

"Jo-"

"Listen to me! Please. I will let nothing happen to our family. I will let nothing happen to you. To what we did. To what we built together. Just trust me."

"I have been gone for months. All that time I thought I would never see home again. I thought I would…..that I would never see you again. I'm here and I just… Sansa I just ..I need your help. I need, I _need_ you, Sansa. I can't- I can't do this alone anymore."

Sansa grabs a hold of his hand and pulls him close enough that she can count his lashes and when he presses his lips together and blinks his blurry eyes at her and stares, her breath rushes out of her lungs far too fast for her to grasp. Sansa breathes and let's go, pressing his face between her hands. "You're not alone anymore. Never. Do you understand?" She whispers and Jon leans into her touch, rests his face against her fingers and holds her wrists and sighs.

" I thought I would die in that lake. I thought I'd never make it back to you."

"You did. You made it back. You're home now."  
He lifts his eyes up slightly and nods. His hands move and settle on her waist as Jon pulls her near. Her breath hitches and she rests her arms on his shoulders, her fingers spread out in his hair and Jon he bites lips - she can't stop staring at his lips- and leans ahead pressing his forehead against hers.

Sansa closes her eyes and sighs. Each part of her body feels like it's floating. And all she wants is to pull him even more close as if she could somehow let Jon know of every thought, every fear and hope in her mind with the press of their bodies together without ever uttering a word.

"I missed you," he mutters softly and her heart aches with want.

"I missed you too Jon" It's not her who says those words.

They stumble away, Jon lets go of her as if she's molten steel and Sansa feels her cheek burn as if she's a wicked child who's been caught.

Arya stands leaning against the doorway, her face impartial and Sansa wonders how long has she been here. How could Sansa have forgotten? She had asked Arya to come as well. Had been waiting for both her and Jon before and yet the moment Jon entered the room, she had forgotten everything.

The silence among them is damning. Every part of her feels alive and shivering and no matter what she does, Sansa can't bring herself to stop looking at the ground.

 _It's not what it looks lik_ e, she wants to say. But what exactly did it look then?

_You know._

Arya stalks towards them, her footsteps silent." I've heard enough to understand what's going on with you and the dragon queen." Her voice is so cold, emotionless. So different from what it had been just hours ago when Jon and Arya met again for the first time in years.

Tears fill her eyes, have I ruined it?

"And I've _seen_ enough." Of you two. It goes unspoken. Arya pours all her hate, all her disgust in her voice. They are not words, but knives digging into her flesh. Say something, Jon, She implores, but Jon does nothing. He stands with his back to both of them, hiding his face away. Tell Arya she's wrong. "But I talked with Bran before coming here." Arya continues, voice normal again. "Its something that's more important."

"What?" Jon speaks finally. Jon had met Bran not long after he came back but had been unable to sit and talk to him alone.

"The Wall has fallen."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
